The Psychology of the Past
"The caregiving stage of life includes balancing attachment and separation. It also puts the entire family under stress, to the point where even the "best" family has conflict and hurt feelings. This often manifests itself in the primary caregiver being pushed, burdened, hated, and manipulated by parents, siblings, and other family members.
The more difficult the childhood relationships with your parents, the less likely you are to firmly separate from them. Many times the adult child regresses back to the old parental relationship. Power struggles can be a reaction to loss and/or role reversal. The adult child now has power over the difficult parent, thus there may be abuse. Anger at the parent may be a reaction to the present or something from the past.
It is time to mourn that you did not have a perfect family, and now, never will."
--An excerpt from Barbara McVicker's Book, Stuck in the Middle.
"The caregiving stage of life includes balancing attachment and separation. It also puts the entire family under stress, to the point where even the "best" family has conflict and hurt feelings. This often manifests itself in the primary caregiver being pushed, burdened, hated, and manipulated by parents, siblings, and other family members.
The more difficult the childhood relationships with your parents, the less likely you are to firmly separate from them. Many times the adult child regresses back to the old parental relationship. Power struggles can be a reaction to loss and/or role reversal. The adult child now has power over the difficult parent, thus there may be abuse. Anger at the parent may be a reaction to the present or something from the past.
It is time to mourn that you did not have a perfect family, and now, never will."
--An excerpt from Barbara McVicker's Book, Stuck in the Middle.
It is estimated that 75 million Americans are caring for an elderly parent, many while working full time and caring for a family. This is the definition of the Sandwich Generation – sandwiched between taking care of 2 generations.
Barbara McVicker, from Columbus, Ohio, is one of the nation’s leading eldercare experts and national speakers for some of the largest companies, organizations, and health care institutions. She tells her personal story as a caregiver to her parents for 10 years while raising two children of her own and struggling to maintain her career as a high-level development director. She is the author of the book, “Stuck in the Middle: Shared Stories and Tips for Caregiving Your Elderly Parents.”
Barbara McVicker
Barbara McVicker is one of the nation’s leading eldercare experts and national speakers for some of the largest companies, organizations, and healthcare institutions. Barbara is based in Columbus, OH. With additional offices in Roanoke, VA, Madison, WI and Los Angeles, CA, Barbara travels frequently and is available for taped or live appearance or phone interview upon request.
Barbara McVicker, from Columbus, Ohio, is one of the nation’s leading eldercare experts and national speakers for some of the largest companies, organizations, and health care institutions. She tells her personal story as a caregiver to her parents for 10 years while raising two children of her own and struggling to maintain her career as a high-level development director. She is the author of the book, “Stuck in the Middle: Shared Stories and Tips for Caregiving Your Elderly Parents.”
Barbara McVicker
Barbara McVicker is one of the nation’s leading eldercare experts and national speakers for some of the largest companies, organizations, and healthcare institutions. Barbara is based in Columbus, OH. With additional offices in Roanoke, VA, Madison, WI and Los Angeles, CA, Barbara travels frequently and is available for taped or live appearance or phone interview upon request.
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